The Purple Door

Stanley watched helplessly as the door closed behind her. All the things he had wanted to say elbowed each other inside his skull, in the delayed rush to slip through the small crack in his brain to get to his mouth. Even if he had wanted to sit down there was no energy to move, let alone slump. So he stood still, part of him praying that she would come back and say it was alright. They were going to work through it together and find a workable solution. The entire time he had known her she had not been a quitter, but this one time, she had quit in one long sentence.

The months had rolled by into a year. The headiness of his interaction with her slowly giving way to something harder to ignore; he was in love with her. They had seen each other regularly, each time with renewed excitement and hope for the things to come. She laughed easily and he had come to love the way she threw her head back in delight as the laughter bubbled from somewhere deep inside her belly. It never ceased to amuse him how tears of joy rolled down her round cheeks, leaving moist tear tracks on slightly acned skin. Her breasts were not big enough to jiggle when she laughed but their defiant stillness as she rocked with laughter had for the longest time preoccupied his mind.

He allowed his mind to stray to the one time he had allowed her to see his own tears. He had received unexpected bad news. ‘Testicular cancer,’ the Oncologist had said solemnly right before he made a note in the file that lay open before him. Stanley had gone straight to her and allowed himself the vulnerability her silence encouraged. He could tell that she had done her best not to lean forward and hug him. She was in her office and there were people beyond her royal purple door that might not think too well of her if she was found embracing him in the middle of the afternoon. So she stayed back and held his eyes with hers when he finally calmed down. It had been enough for him.

“Come by and see me today. It has been a long week and there are new details we need to fill you in on.”

He had not known it then but he would be walking through the royal purple door for the last time. She was not alone. With her was a distinguished looking gentleman, black hair highlighted with silver coils of hair.

“This is Jeremy.” She said, touching the upper part of the gentleman’s arm. Jeremy smiled warmly and shook his hand, “he will be taking over my role as your Cardiac Specialist. His credentials are excellent. I would trust nobody else with you. I will be going on to Cardiff to take on a new role. I wish you all the best in the rest of your treatment.”